When I met Gurudevi Nirmalananda, I didn’t know about mystics. Yet it was obvious that she was having a different experience of being human than I was. Answering one of my questions, she said, “I experience more bliss than you do.” Bliss? What is bliss? I wanted to know more. I wanted to experience this “more bliss.”
By studying with Gurudevi, I learned that bliss is the experience of the knowing of your own Divinity. Gurudevi is established in this knowing. She also knows and sees that we are all the same One Divine Reality. This is true, even if we don’t know it. This was a radical concept for my scientific mind to grasp. Yet, from my own experiences with Gurudevi, I could not ignore the evidence of its truth.
As I studied further, I learned those who experience their beingness as one with the Divine are called mystics. This ultimate experience is not limited to one spiritual or religious path. There have been many mystics throughout time and across cultures. Here are some quotations from a few great mystics:
Saint Teresa of Ávila
Roman Catholic Saint
Lived: Spain 1515-1582
“The Lord is very deep within their own souls… Within oneself, clearly, is the best place to look; and it’s not necessary to go to heaven, nor any further than our own selves.”1
Julian of Norwich
English theologian and anchoress
Lived: England 1343-1416
“I saw no difference between God and our substance, but, as it were, all God.”2
Persian Mystic & Poet
Lived: Persia 858-922
“I am the Truth.”3
“I saw my Lord with the eye of the heart.
I asked, ‘Who are You?’
He replied, ‘You.’”4
Lived: India, 700-750
“I am completely full and perfect.
I am Shiva.
I am my own Self.
I am eternal bliss. I am eternal bliss.”
The mystics agree that you find the Divine within. And the Divinity you find within is not different from you.
As the science of mysticism, yoga describes in detail the mystical experience. Yoga also defines the stages and steps that take you to mystical knowing. Yoga’s practices, tested throughout time, are proven 100% reliable in taking you to this destination. Gurudevi is proof of that as a modern-day yoga master and mystic.
Gurudevi discovered her mystical reality by studying with her teacher Swami Muktananda. Muktananda did the practices his teacher, Bhagavan Nityananda, gave him. Gurudevi and Baba Muktananda followed the path defined by the science of yoga by following the directions from a Master teacher. It worked.
Muktananda describes his mystical experience as:
“He is supreme Bliss
and supreme Consciousness.
He, truly, is God,
is Nityananda, is Muktananda.”
Swami Muktananda, Mukteshwari, Verse 22
In this verse, Muktananda describes himself many ways, showing each is equivalent:
Consciousness, the knowingness of your own Self, is a bliss-full experience. It is the same as the One Divine Reality, also called God. This is who Muktananda discovered himself to be inside. It is the same One Divine Reality that Nityananda found within himself as himself. And it is the same Divine Essence that you will find as your own Self.
When you discover your inherent Essence, you will make the same statement. You can personalize Muktananda’s quote:
“I am supreme Bliss
and supreme Consciousness.
I, truly, am God,
am Nityananda, am Muktananda.”
That has been my experience. Sometimes I experience myself as Bliss, other times as Consciousness. I’ve also had the experience, “I am Nityananda.” The first time it happened, I was at Nityananda’s temple in Ganeshpuri India. I was waving a candle flame in front of Nityananda’s enlivened statue. On the outside, there appeared to be two: Nityananda and me. But my experience was that there was only One. I was Nityananda waving the flame to Nityananda. The flame and the air between us was Nityananda. The act of waving the flame was the same One Nityananda. Then on the inside Nityananda said to me, “I am Nityananda.” He wasn’t telling me his name. He was telling me who I am.
The mystics promise this result from the science of yoga. When you follow the scientific formula, you get the proven results. Originally tested in India over millennia, principles of the science of yoga are now being proven around the globe.
What is the scientific formula of yoga’s mystical practices? Study with a living mystic. Gurudevi Nirmalananda has mastered the formula by following her teacher’s directions. Now she guides you along the way since she knows both the path and the destination. Then you will also discover the mystical reality: Divinity is found within as you.
Darkness cannot resist the light. In a dark room, if you light a single candle, it banishes the dark. It works the same way when you do your yoga practices. Whether you are doing Svaroopa® yoga poses, breathing, mantra, meditation or more, there is a common denominator. You are invoking the light of your own being, which yoga names your capital-S Self. This light dwells within you as you.
Yet for most people the perception of this light is diminished or hidden — covered over by the darkness of not-knowing. Instead of seeing and being the light, you focus on the limitations that keep you in the dark.
Yoga gives you the tools to cut through those limitations, like a candle flame cutting through the darkness. When you access your own inner light, it can then shine forth fully. This quality of light and illumination is one reason that it is called “the fire of yoga.” This fire consumes what holds you back from the knowing of your own Self.
Here at the Ashram, we live across the street from a river. During the transition seasons we get heavy fog coming off the river in the mornings. The fog can be so thick that you are not able to see even a foot in front of you. Yet, like clockwork, when the sun rises, the light dissolves the fog.
There is a yogic teaching that describes this phenomenon:
The Fire of Consciousness, though concealed in the individual, burns away Maayaa’s limiting knowledge like fire burns fuel.
— translated by Swami Nirmalananda
In this aphorism, your own Self is named Chiti — the Fire of Consciousness. Fire is a good description for Chiti because the qualities of fire are light and heat. The light in this case refers to Chiti’s knowing, named Consciousness. Consciousness is the knowing of your own being; you know that you are you. This knowing is and can be described as light.
It’s like in those old-school cartoons when the character all of a sudden realizes something and a lightbulb goes on above their head. The light in the lightbulb represents understanding and knowing.
Chiti’s knowing also has the quality of heat. Like how fire burns fuel, the heat of your knowing burns away the density of your not-knowing. The not-knowing is named Maayaa, the contracting energy that conceals the light of your own being. When you are stuck in Maayaa, you think that you are this small and limited individual, lonely and alone. Svaroopa® yoga specializes in the turning within, to invoke your own inner light, which is the Fire of Consciousness. Like fog in the sunlight, Maayaa’s limiting knowledge is dissolved by this inner fire.
So how does this affect you in your day-to-day life? When you do Svaroopa® yoga practices, you shift your focus from Maayaa to Chiti, from outside to inside, from not-knowing to knowing. With this shift in focus, the density and thickness, which had been blinding you from seeing your own brilliant Self, simply melts away. You get immediate results. In your spiritual practice, you settle more deeply into your Self. It is a feeling of ease within your own skin. You feel like you. When you feel like you, you show up in your life with that same sense of ease.
Because you are based in the light of your own being, everything in your life becomes easier and more joyous. Even when you experience challenges, you face them with surety and steadiness. Darkness cannot resist the light because the light is who you truly are. To live in the light, to know and be it, do more yoga.
Even though they were born into a royal family, the Pandavas were brought up in a hermitage, with only a theoretical knowledge of city life. Once they came to live in Hastinapura, they managed to cope with the changes well, with the guidance from their mother Kunti, great-grandfather Bhishma and uncle Vidura. So, the sons of King Pandu, began to grow up in princely style in the home of their father. Everything was flowery at the beginning.
Duryodhana and his Kaurava brothers did not enjoy having their Pandava cousins in Hastinapura. The Kauravas were hostile due to their uncle Shakuni having poisoned their minds even before they met the Pandavas. In addition, great-grandfather Bhishma and uncle Vidura were giving equal attention to Pandavas, rather than the Kauravas getting their full attention as before. This added fuel to the fire.
The five Pandavas knew nothing about the Kauravas’ hatred of them. Led by the eldest of the Pandavas, Yudhishthira, they treated the Kauravas as their loving cousins. Yudhishthira always upheld righteousness, which meant equality among the brothers and cousins.
The strongest of the Pandavas was Bhima who was the same age as Duryodhana. Always playful as he was, Bhima played tricks on all his brothers and cousins. As the strongest, he would bully them in a friendly manner. He pulled ten of them with one hand along the ground. When they were picking fruit, he was unable to climb the trees due to his weight. Instead, using his strength to kick the tree, would knock all the fruits to the ground along with his cousins.
Though the Pandavas thought they were having a good time with their cousins, the Kauravas didn’t look at it the same way. There were instances when the Kauravas insulted the Pandavas in many ways. Bhishma and Vidura tried their best to unite the cousins, but Kauravas’ minds had been poisoned by their uncle, Shakuni.
Both the Pandavas and Kauravas had started their preliminary education from various elders, in the hermitage and in Hastinapura respectively. It became time for them to get formal education and training in the arts of war and statecraft. Bhishma appointed the royal teacher of Hastinapura, Kripachariya to the job. Though Kripachariya accepted the job, he encouraged Bhishma to find a more suitable person to teach them; Kripachariya thought the Pandavas and the Kauravas had the capacity to go beyond what he was able to offer.
One day, when the Pandavas and Kauravas were playing with a ball, it fell into a deep well. They couldn’t get it out. While staring at the ball in the well, Yudhishthira’s ring slipped out of his finger and also fell into the well.
While they were blaming one another, a Brahmin, who was also an archer, with an impressive personality appeared in the grounds. He took a blade of grass, sharpened it and shot it like an arrow at the ball, reciting mantras. Then he followed it up with more blades of grass, forming a chain, then pulled the ball out.
Then he shot another arrow, which went into the bottom of the well and came back with Yudhishthira’s ring. The children were astonished as to how that was possible. Especially Arjuna, who loved archery, was taken by this.
When they asked who he was, he told them to take the ball with the grass blade chain to their grandsire Bhishma to get the answer. The children ran to Bhishma, showed him the grass blade chain and told him what happened. Bhishma stood up saying, “Dronacharya is here!”
Dronacharya was the son of Rishi Bharadwaja and a student of great Parashurama. He was also Kripachariya’s brother-in-law, being married to Kripi, the sister of Kripachariya. He had come to visit his brother-in-law.
Immediately, Bhishma invited Dronacharya to the palace and bestowed high respect and honor on him. He requested Drona to be the teacher and guru to the Pandavas and Kauravas. Though Drona was poor, he had his own principles. Drona had two conditions. One was that his son Ashwatthama would study side by side with the princes, which is usually not allowed in a royal setting. The other was that the teachings would be done in seclusion in his ashram and training ground, which was far away from Hastinapura.
Dhritarashtra was agreeable to the first condition. But, due to his love for his children, he was not willing to part with his sons. Therefore rejected the second condition. Dhritarashtra wanted the teaching to happen in the outskirts of Hastinapura. Drona turned down the offer and returned to his ashram, saying they could contact him if they changed their mind.
As the days passed, the Pandavas began to feel the Kauravas’ hostility toward them due to the way their cousins treated them. As the eldest Kaurava, Duryodhana couldn’t stomach the fact that there was competition for the throne he’d been thinking would be his one day. Thus, he and his brothers started to give grief to the Pandavas. Dhritarashtra’s desire to make his eldest be king after his own time had seeded the thought in Duryodhana. Now it rooted in his mind and made him do anything to achieve it.
Duryodhana had a strong dislike for the Pandavas and missed no opportunity to demean them. He was aware that, in order to rule over the entire kingdom of Hastinapur unchallenged, he needed to eliminate them. So the Kauravas always looked at the Pandavas as their enemies. With their uncle Shakuni’s help, they devised cunning plans first to kill Bhima, as Duryodhana envied him the most due to Bhima’s strength. Duryodhana always said, after killing Bhima, finishing the others off would be an easy task.
King Dhritarashtra, turned a blind eye to every wrongdoing of his sons. His love for them, especially with his eldest Duryodhana, got in the way of his disciplining and punishing them. This made it easy for Duryodhana to continue their ill treatment of the Pandavas.
Duryodhana, knowing Bhima would fall for anything with food, planned to poison him in a dinner which Duryodhana would host. He planned everything with his uncle’s help. By this time, Yudhishthira and his brothers were careful about their cousins, but Bhima believed in his strength so much that he dropped his guard a lot, especially when food was involved.
Duryodhana had a mock castle and garden built near the banks of the river Ganga for the cunning plan he had in mind. He got his father’s chefs to make a lot of food for a feast and invited his cousins for the outing.
At the feast, Duryodhana mixed a very poisonous venom in Bhima’s food, which came from his mother Gandhari’s kingdom with the help of his uncle. In the happiness of seeing all the food, Bhima ate the poisoned portion too. Though he noticed a difference in taste, he was so busy eating and didn’t bother to examine it. He was not expecting that Duryodhana and his brothers would stoop to a level that they would try to kill him.
As it was a slow reacting poison, Bhima didn’t feel anything at the beginning, so he kept on eating. Everyone was tired after all the games and the food, so they retired for the night to their rooms. Without him realizing it, Bhima began fading away in his sleep, due to the poison working in his body. Knowing how long it took for the poison, Duryodhana waited patiently. Then, his brother Dushasana helped him carry Bhima to a deep part of the river and push him in with his hands and legs bound.
Bhima sank down to the bottom of the river, where some venomous water snakes bit him. Bhima woke up and fought them to save himself, thinking the serpents were attacking him. He tried to chase them away with the strength that was left in him. To his astonishment Vasuki, the king of snakes, came and greated Bhima. Vasuki said that he sent his clan to save Bhima from the venom he had in his body. Vasuki also explained that Bhima was related to him and that Lord Vayu, the God of wind, had sent him a message that Bhima was in danger. Vasuki gave Bhima the details of the venom and its origin, which immediately revealed what had really happened. Bhima was taken to Nagaloka. the world of snakes, to recover.
The next day, at the play castle, the Kauravas and the other Pandavas set out to go back to Hastinapura. They start off without Bhima who was missing. On their way they talked to one another, figuring that Bhima must have gone home before them. The wicked Duryodhana and Dushasana knew what had happened. Though they were glad at heart that Bhima was missing, they didn’t show it out to their cousins.
Arriving in Hastinapura, the four Pandavas didn’t find their brother as they had expected to. When they broke the news to Kunti, as a mother, she felt that something was wrong. She had been observing the way the Kauravas were treating Pandu’s sons lately. She spoke to uncle Vidura about her concern that Duryodhana was involved in Bhima’s disappearance. Vidura advised Kunti not to take it to anyone else without evidence, as things might get even worse given Dhritarashtra’s mindset. He assured her not to fear too much.
Though King Dhritarashtra was eager to have his son as the next king, he didn’t want any harm done to his brother’s children. Dhritarashtra, Bhishma, Vidura and the rest of the elders were saddened by the recent events and tried to console each other. They sent a number of search parties all around the kingdom to find Bhima. Kunti performed a number of penances for the safe return of her son. All of the search parties returned with no luck. Thinking Bhima was dead, Kunti and the Kuru family fell into deep sorrow and started to discuss doing the last rites for Bhima.
Back in Nagaloka, the world of the snakes, Vasuki and the other Nagas gave Bhima the best hospitality until he was healthy and ready to leave. After a few days, regaining his full strength, Bhima wanted to go back to his family. He was blessed by Vasuki and the other snakes. Vasuki gave an auspicious nectar to Bhima, which made him even stronger, giving him the power of hundred elephants. Then Vasuki brought him to the surface of the water and placed him in the garden where he had been having fun.
The mighty Bhima, arriving on the surface of the earth, thanked Vasuki and the other Nagas. Vasuksi vanished. Bhima ran to Hastinapura to see his mother. Arriving there, he bowed down to Kunti, the elders and his eldest brother Yudhisthira, and hugged his younger brothers. Everyone was extremely happy to see Bhima back. But Duryodhana, his brothers and Shakuni were dumbfounded and extremely unhappy.
After returning to their chambers, Bhima narrated to his mother and brothers everything about the villainy of Duryodhana, and the unlucky and lucky incidents that had happened to him in the play castle and the Nagaloka. Thereupon Yudhishthira told the brothers to observe silence on this matter and, from that day onwards, to protect one another with care.
Hearing Bhima’s story, Kunti decided to leave Hastinapura and take the Pandavas to her father. Through a spy, Bhishma learned everything that happened and advised Kunti against deserting Hastinapura. Bhishma gave his word to make things right. Kunti accepted Bhishma’s word and remained in Hastinapura with her sons.
My friend texted, “ “My feast is finally ready. No veggies. Just carbs. I love that Mac & Cheese.” On Christmas Day, she sent a lovely picture of steaming Mac & Cheese, homemade wheat bread and a pecan pie. Later she texted, “I can’t stop eating it. I have no control. I want that bliss feeling over and over and over.”
Especially during the holidays, many people find themselves in this food frenzy. They go from one bliss bite to another. Some even get bliss from veggies like collard greens, kale or a fresh green salad. Your body knows these foods are what it needs. You can feel your body absorbing the vitamins and minerals. Bliss treat! Unfortunately, it’s temporary.
You are propelled into seeking bliss because your essence is bliss but you’re not in touch with it. Your bliss need is built into you. Anytime bliss is missing, you don’t feel like yourself. When you are in bliss, you stop chasing and settle into who you really are.
We not only seek bliss from food. We also seek bliss from places, people, pets, music, etc. If I get to sit in the garden, if I talk with that person, hug my pet, listen to beautiful music or go for a walk, I will feel happy. It works most of the time, though not always. On a cold winter day when it’s sleeting, you cannot sit in your garden. You cannot enjoy the sun and the view of the beautiful trees, flowers and birds. When you call a dear friend, sometimes they are needy or grumpy. At times, your pet is whiny, not cuddly. Sometimes your favorite music does not give you a bliss hit. Walking can be no fun when your body is hurting. The things on your happiness list are not always reliable. In fact, they can cause you pain, especially when they don’t give you the bliss treat you wanted and needed.
Later that same day, I phoned my friend. She had a belly ache and sadly announced that she no longer loves pecan pie. After all these years of giving her a bliss treat, the pie was now too sweet. My friend asked what I was doing on Christmas. I replied, “I am doing a full-day yoga retreat at the Ashram from 5:15 am to 9:30 pm. We are doing three rounds, each with a yoga class, chanting and meditation. With each round I experience more and more bliss.” My friend said, “For bliss I do treats, and you do retreats.” We laughed.
Yes, you can do bliss treats that give you momentary experiences of bliss. This is called dependent bliss. You depend on something outside of you to give you bliss. That thing, however, will eventually lead to pain in one of two ways. It leads to pain when you do too much of it. Or you experience pain when that thing fails to give you the bliss you wanted.
It’s called “normal” to try to get in as many bliss treats as you can every day, so you will make yourself happy. Yet, in-between the bliss treats you will be dissatisfied, even in pain. My teacher explains that you must find bliss within:
For lasting bliss, for ever-expanding ecstasy, you have to find the inner source. Your own Self is the source of cosmic bliss. Once you’ve experienced it, it is the only kind you’ll ever really be satisfied with.
— Swami Nirmalananda, Practical Mysticism 5: Pleasure, Pain & Sex
What if you could live in bliss all the time no matter where you were, who you were with or what you were doing? This is independent bliss. To build this capacity you need bliss retreats. Yoga retreats are about finding your source of bliss — inside. You don’t need it to be a whole day. A bliss retreat can be just a minute or a little more.
For an instant bliss retreat, you can repeat mantra, chant or meditate. How does this work? While you do these practices, your brain is rewiring itself. This capacity is called neural plasticity. Few people grasp how quickly this shift can happen and how extensive brain changes can be. How much control each of us has over the process is surprising! In Bliss Brain, Dr. Dawson Church finds stunning evidence of rapid and radical brain change. In just eight weeks of meditation, 12 minutes a day, he found that measurable changes are produced in our brains. These changes make us calmer, happier, and more resilient.
Dr. Church says, “When we cultivate these pleasurable states over time, they become traits. We don’t just feel more blissful as a temporary state; the changes are literally hard-wired into our brains, becoming stable and enduring personality traits.” His research shows that neural remodeling goes much farther than scientists have previously understood, with stress circuits shriveling over time. Simultaneously, “The Enlightenment Circuit” — associated with happiness, compassion, productivity, creativity, and resilience — expands.”
Long before these discoveries by researchers, the ancient sages knew this experience and described it:
Lokanandah samadhi-sukham. — Shiva Sutras 1.18
In every moment, such a yogi easily experiences the bliss of Consciousness.
— Rendered by Swami Nirmalananda
Who is such a yogi? Such a yogi is established in the experiential knowing of their own Divine Self. How do you get there? Church states that during deep meditation “the 7 neurochemicals of ecstasy” are released in our brains. These include anandamide, a neurotransmitter that’s been named “the bliss molecule.” Notice that aananda, the Sanskrit word for bliss, is the root of the neurotransmitter anandamide. Your brain makes bliss chemicals.
How does this work? Svaroopa® Vidya Meditation specializes in carrying you to the source of bliss, your own Divine Essence, your own Self. This feeling of your own Self has a physical effect on your body and your mind. Your mind becomes saturated in bliss of your own being.
Starting right now, through the Svaroopa® Sciences practices developed by Swami Nirmalananda, you can begin to rewire your brain for bliss. It will not take 8 weeks. It won’t even take 12 minutes. In this Shaktipat tradition, the effects are almost instantaneous. Our practices are infused with Divine Power. This Grace flows through our lineage — Swami Nirmalananda, her Guru, Baba Muktananda, and his Guru, Bhagawan Nityananda, and meditation masters back through countless ages. Each has added their energy, support and blessings to these practices.
You put forth even a little bit of effort and you get an avalanche of benefit back. The practices that return the most bliss for your investment of time are chanting, japa (repetition of mantra), and especially meditation. Even a minute of these practices will begin to rewire your brain for bliss, revealing your own Divine Essence to you. January is a lovely time to make a New Year’s Resolution. You choose — treats or retreats. Yoga promises that, when you do more and more yoga, your state will be continuous ever-expanding ecstasy.
While you’re waiting for life to get back to normal, you’re still limited in where you can go and who you can see. Sheltering in place means you can’t do a lot of your usual things. However, the truth is that most of them are timewasters.
I remember arriving at a rural hotel in India near an Ashram I was visiting. The staff member taking me to my room proudly pointed out their pool, tennis courts and a game room. He encouraged me to make use of their amenities but I demurred. Shocked, he asked, “What will you do to kill time?”
I don’t want to kill time. I want to make full use of every precious moment. Life is for living, I learned from the fictional sage named Auntie Mame. I’m still sure she was right. But what kind of living can you do in a pandemic? Well, it turns out that living fully is not about being busy in every moment. It’s about being more alive, whether you’re busy or quiet. The whole point of yoga is to make you more alive, more present, more fulfilled and full-filled within yourself.
For that, you need to find your capital S-Self — the Divine Reality within you that is you. Svaroopa® Vidya Meditation opens your access to this vast, pure, sacred and holy interior dimension. The specialty of this tradition is Shaktipat, the inner opening which gives you easy access to the God within.
It’s the God-feeling that I’m talking about, not the personhood of God, not your idea of who or what God is – but what you feel inside when you experience God. My Guru explained it this way:
Bhave hi vidyate devo.
God is in your feeling
You know the feeling. I know the feeling. You look for this inner feeling in so many places and in so many ways – but the reality is that, when you feel it, it’s inside. No matter where you go or what you do, the experience is an internal experience.
I went to a concert put on by the Tibetan Gyüto monks; each man sings a chord on his own. And they sing it all together. It is amazing! But it’s not the sound that’s so incredible – it’s the inner experience it provokes. Time stops as these sounds hang in the air, combining and twining around each other – total timelessness, pure space and vastness, deep inner opening and pure bliss. The God-feeling. That’s the point.
At the summer camp I went to as a teen, there was a quiet area, a lookout point, reserved for those who joined a special group. We got special badges and only those with the badge could go to this spot. It was a place of silence. I loved it there, but I couldn’t figure out why. I’d go look at the view of the valley, but the feeling didn’t come from there. It didn’t come from the trees, not from the earth or the rock I liked to sit on. What I couldn’t figure out was that it was coming from inside me. The God-feeling. That’s the point.
I sat in the sunroom of my home the other day, sipping some hot tea. After a while I stopped sipping and just enjoyed the light filtering through the clouds and trees. No words. No reason to be there, no reason to leave. No memories or plans. Just being. The God-feeling. That’s the point.
Meditation is the best pathway, of course. We use mantra to get past the mind’s churning, to dive deeper within. It’s amazingly easy, thanks to the energy planted in the mantra by my Guru, and by his Guru before him as well as the many preceding generations.
Maybe this is what you can do with yourself during remaining months of the pandemic — get filled from the inside out. Maybe this could be your New Year’s resolution: to discover your own capital S-Self. For that, you must meditate.
A single candle flame washes the dark out of a whole room. No scrub bucket needed, you can’t wash the dark away with water. Only light devours dark. This theme pervades the holy days around the upcoming solstice. The shorter days of the Northern Hemisphere celebrate light when we’re missing it; the longer days of the Southern Hemisphere celebrate light in the abundance of its gifts. Yoga celebrates light all year long, but it’s the inner light that matters.
The pandemic changes the outer landscape, probably affecting your holiday traditions. It makes each person matter more, because you get to see them or because you don’t. It’s like your life lights up when they come into it. As meaningful as that can be, yoga urges you to focus on your own light. That inner light that you so readily share with others is meant to lighten your own inner landscape. When you base yourself in the light of your own Beingness, it vaporizes all the dark memories, dissolves all the dark predictions of your future (worries) and makes your burdens easier to carry. Light banishes heaviness as well as darkness so only one thing remains: the light of your own being.
This is yoga’s focus. This is Svaroopa® yoga’s specialty: to open the doorway inside, to make it easy for you to find your Self. This is why I have posted free teachings online for you, hundreds of audios and articles that shine the light for you, illumining the pathway inward. Please allow me to help you discover the pathway inward, especially at this powerful time of year.
Enjoy the lights shining outside and the people parading through your life so beautifully, but don’t forget who you are while you see all these forms of light. Be the light. As you’re looking outward, check and see — who is looking through your eyes?
There is only One Reality, being all and seeing through everyone’s eyes, including yours. There is only One Presence, being you as well as all. There is only one Light, shining in all, shining as all. Find the sacred source of that light within you. You are that candle flame that lights the whole room. When you bring your Self with you, everyone and everything you touch is made sacred.
Recently, I saw a pharmacy ad showing a meditating yogi paired with the word “health.” How widespread is meditation that a major pharmacy would use such an image? Meditation is so widespread how that everyone seeing that image would go, “Oh yeah, meditation means health.”
It does. Meditation makes you healthier and happier. It helps you sleep, reduces your stress, and helps you focus. Your meditation practice gives you greater calm, peace of mind, and resiliency. And so much more.
I practice and teach a yogic meditation named Svaroopa® Vidya Meditation. Svaroopa means your own inner essence, which is your Divine Self. Vidya means experiential knowing. While “svaroopa vidya” names the technique, it’s also a promise: meditate and you will experience your own Self. When you do, you discover that you are full, whole, and complete on the inside. You will realize that you are made of the Divinity of which everything is made. That Divinity is you.
So how come you don’t know your Divinity all the time? The short answer is you’ve got stuff. Mental, emotional, and physical stuff gums up the works. It keeps you from knowing the wholeness and holiness that you already are. Worries, insecurities, and self-limiting thoughts cut you down to size. They make you feel small, limited and alone. Everyone has this kind of stuff; it’s built into every human being. The good news is this: the capacity to be free of these limitations is also built in.
Svaroopa® Vidya Meditation specializes in breaking through your built-in limitations. Then you know the Divine whole you. This breakthrough is accomplished by an inner awakening of your inner energy of upliftment. Once you’ve received this awakening, your own meditative energy arises through your spine every time you meditate. As it does, it melts the inner blockages. It dissolves the density and incinerates the limitations that keep you from knowing your Self.
What does that mean for your meditation? It means that you might not look like the pharmacy’s image of the meditating yogi. Instead of sitting peacefully and perfectly upright, you might rock or sweat. You could see inner lights or visions or have profound insights. Waves of joy, sadness, anger, grief, laughter or love may arise and subside. You might experience samadhi, an immersion into the depths of your Self that feels like sleep. You may have meditations in which you experience physical discomfort, or waves of bliss or deep stillness.
This is the short list. The list of possible meditation experiences is very, very long. Why? Because you get what you need, you get your next step. It will be unique to you. The reason is that you have unique talents, strengths and quirks. Your impediments and patterns of holding yourself small are also uniquely yours. So you’ll have exactly the experiences needed to unravel that stuff. My Guru, Swami Nirmalananda, puts it this way: “Meditation is what happens when you sit to meditate.” It all counts. Every experience is valid and valuable. It’s all legit.
Yet the experiences are not the goal. They are merely steps on the path. They are signs that your inner obstacles are being cleared away. With this clearing, you can know and be the Divine whole of your Self all the time. That’s the goal. It’s called Self-Realization because you realize that you are the Self. You don’t become or attain something that you are not. You realize who you are and always have been. You just didn’t know it all the time. The promise of this tradition is that you will and that we can help you get there.
When I grew up in Manhattan, cranes and wrecking balls demolishing old buildings were a constant presence. My neighborhood transformed from rundown six-story tenements to twenty-story high-class apartment buildings. I watched through eyelevel holes cut into the tall wooden fences around the construction sites. The physical force and energy of the demolition was most fascinating. In a moment, this power turned walls that had stood for a century into rubble.
I witnessed the power of destruction on the outside. This power is also a spiritual force within each human being. In yoga, it is one of the functions of the Ultimate Reality, called Shiva. Along with destruction, Shiva has four other cosmic powers: creation, maintenance, concealment and revelation. When acting as a force of destruction, Shiva is called Bhairava. Bhairava opens you up and destroys your limiting delusion of who you think you are. The Shiva Sutras, an ancient yogic text, explains:
Udyamo Bhairava — Shiva Sutras 1.5
The upwelling of consciousness within you reveals your own Divinity. — Rendered by Gurudevi Nirmalananda
Bhairava shakes up your complacency and comfort. Bhairava propels you past the familiar illusion of who you think you are. You are propelled into the awareness of yourself as Consciousness Itself. This is your own Self.
I always had a subtle, persistent inner yearning. I now can name it as the desire to know my Self. Back then, though, I was always looking for something to fill this yearning. I really did not know what I was looking for. Yet this longing sent me searching. I lived in many different places with a variety of people. I took many different healing and personal growth trainings and workshops. Each gave me a bit of what I was looking for, at least for a moment. Still, nothing fully touched the longing I had felt since I was a teenager.
Then I took a weekend yoga workshop with Gurudevi Nirmalananda. As the weekend progressed, a profound feeling of “rightness” arose within me. For so long, this experience was what I had been searching for. As I was driving home, everything was different. Something big had opened within me through Gurudevi’s Svaroopa® yoga practices. I felt alive. I felt that everything was just right. Within, I could feel the something more I’d been seeking. Gratitude, joy and bliss welled up and filled that amorphous hole of yearning inside!
The exhilarating force of Bhairava brought me to the knowing my Own Self within. Bhairava was also the yearning that had set me searching for something I couldn’t define. This inherent longing had started me on the path of a seeker. It ultimately took me to that transformative yoga workshop with Gurudevi.
The awakening to your own Self is not just theoretical nor is it obscure. Your yearning leads you to doing yoga practices like yoga poses and meditation. The practices thin out the layers that hide the knowing of who you are. You become aware of the deeper dimension of your own being, which you earnestly desire.
In the Svaroopa® yoga lineage, you have the support of Gurudevi Nirmalananda. She has traveled the path to being established in knowing herself as Consciousness Itself. She elucidates the path for you and speeds your progress. From Gurudevi you receive Grace that fuels your internal transformation, the awakening of your spiritual energy. This gift is called Shaktipat. It jumpstarts the process of your inner upliftment. You are blasted past your resistances and the walls of delusion crumble.
Through Shaktipat, Bhairava’s cosmic power destroys your limitations. You open inward to a deep freedom, which is your inherent nature. The “not knowing” of your Self is ended. You come to know your Self as Consciousness-Itself. Moving out of the cramped “tenement” of mistaken ideas of who you are, yoga realize your own Self. You live in that expansive inner state, illuminated by the upwelling of your own Divine Light.
Having just married Kunti, Pandu went to war, conquering or allying with many kingdoms in the name of Hastinapura. When he approached the Madra Kingdom, he found a huge army awaiting him. During the battle, he saw King Shalya’s charioteer driving the chariot as fast as lightning. After the war ended in a truce, Shalya revealed that the charioteer was none other than his own sister, Madri. Shalya proposed that the two kingdoms avoid war in the future through marriage and a gift of their friendship. Pandu accepted his wish willingly and married Madri.
He brought his new bride to Hastinapura. At the first sight of another woman with her husband, and due to the behavior of Madri acting smart, Kunti got a bit upset. But as time passed, she became a loving sister of Madri. However, Madri continued to have a little bit of a superiority complex, thinking that the kingdom of Madra was superior to the kingdom of the Yadavas, the cattle clan, into which Kunti was born. But they were both devoted to Pandu and Pandu loved them both equally. They later grew into loving each other as sisters.
Under Pandu’s rule, the Hastinapura kingdom flourished. He was a passionate hunter and an excellent archer. During one of his hunting trips, he killed a pair of deer who were engaged in romance, which was against the rules of hunting. The pair was Rishi Kindama and his wife who were making love in the form of deer. The dying sage placed a curse on Pandu, that if he were to approach his wife with the intent of sexual relations, his head would explode and he would die. Before Pandu could defend himself, the sage died. With the curse on his head, he returns to the palace with a heavy heart.
He couldn’t forgive himself for the crime he committed. He decided to abdicate the throne of Hastinapura and go into a hermetical retreat. Bhishma and Vidura tried convincing him otherwise, but Pandu couldn’t be convinced. The governance of Hastinapura, in the absence of a king, was bestowed upon Dhritarashtra, until Pandu returned or Pandu’s son came to claim the throne. Dhritarashtra was happy to be the governor of Hastinapura, thinking that, due to Pandu’s curse, he and his children will get to rule the kingdom. Pandu left for his hermetical retreat with by his two wives, Kunti and Madri.
Pandu got unhappier by the day due to not being able to give an heir to the Hastinapura kingdom. Also Kunti and Madri were directly affected by the curse as they were denied the opportunity to bear children. Kunti had not revealed to anyone the boon she had, due to the secret she carried with it, her first-born whom she left afloat in the river Ganga.
Unable to bear husband’s sorrow, Kunti revealed the boon that she received from Sage Durvasa, though not about her first-born, Karna. When Pandu heard about this blessing, he was in ecstasy. He asked Kunti to use the five mantras to give birth to heirs to the Hastinapura kingdom.
First, Pandu suggested that Kunti call Dharmaraj, to get a truthful, knowledgeable and righteous son to rule Hastinapura. Kunti used the Mantra for Dharmaraj, the God of Dharma, Lord Yama. Dharmaraj appeared and gave Kunti the boon of a son. This eldest son of Pandu was named Yudhishthira. Pandu was overjoyed, as he had become a father.
He asked Kunti to use her second mantra. This time she called upon the Vayu Bhagavan, the God of Wind. Vayu Bhagavan appeared and gave Kunti the second son. A big fat bonny baby, they called him Bhima.
Then Kunti invited God Indra, the king of the Devas, as requested by Pandu, Indra gave her their third son, who they named Arjuna.
Pandu wanted more children and asked Kunti to use the rest of the two mantras she had. Kunti thought for a minute and called Madri, who was feeling sad as she was not part of bearing children for her husband, Pandu. Kunti gave the final two mantras to Madri to use for the boon from the Ashwini Kumaras, the divine twin horsemen, who were Physicians for all the other Devas. They appeared in front of Madri and gave her twin sons, Nakula and Sahadeva. Madri was so thankful to Kunti, and from that day forward, they became two mothers with one heart.
Pandu was filled with happiness and thanked Kunti for keeping his dynasty going. Pandu and his family continued to live in the forest hermitage happily. These five children were called the Pandavas.
In the meantime, in Hastinapura, Gandhari was carrying her child for more than a year. Dhritarashtra was furious about the delay in his child’s birth. To revenge Gandhari, he took one of Gandhari’s maids to bed. On top of all this, hearing the news about the birth of Kunti’s eldest child made things worse for Gandhari. She fell into jealousy and frustration, hit her stomach so strong, desperately wanting to give birth, only to result in the birth of lump of flesh.
Once again Great-grand Queen Satyavati’s firstborn Vyasa came to the rescue. With the help from Sage Vyasa, Gandhari’s lump of flesh turned into hundred sons and a daughter. The hundred sons were the blessings of Lord Shiva to Gandhari and the daughter was an additional blessing from Vyasa himself. Among the hundred sons of Dhritarashtra and Gandhari, the eldest was named Duryodhana, meaning unconquerable, the second born was named Dushasana, meaning bad governance and the third was named Vikarna, meaning large eared. The daughter was Dushala.
Dhritarashtra loved them all very much, especially Duryodhana. Dhritarashtra also had a son named Yuyutsu, from the maid, making him a half-brother to the children of Gandhari. The hundred sons of Dhritarashtra and Gandhari were called the Kauravas. Even though Kauravas were born as a blessing from Lord Shiva, their untimely arrival was at an inauspicious time, due to Gandhari’s impatience. This changed their destiny forever.
A few years passed and the children were growing up. Yudhishthira, being the oldest was very mature and saw the good in every person, even of the worst people. As he was a boon of Dharmaraj, Yudhishthira upheld the Dharma, righteousness all the time, never to lie and always to keep his word. He was always following the path of Dharma.
Bhima was mighty as the wind, having the power of hundred elephants. He was a great fan of food. His appetite was so huge such that he would consume half of the food prepared by Kunti and Madri. He was the strongest of the five.
Arjuna had the skills like no other, in politics and the art of warfare. He was the most loving of them all, giving affection towards all his loved ones. His skill in archery was amazing.
Nakula was great in religion and science, he was the most handsome of them all. He was also Bhima’s favorite brother. He made fun of Bhima and his appetite any chance he got.
Sahadeva was a very learned, the most knowledgeable of the five. He was an astrologer beyond any other. He had great intuition and could foresee the near future. His intuition never failed him and his brothers.
Kunti and Madri looked after the five without any difference. They preached to the five to be always united, never to divide. They explained that if they were united, no power would be able to defeat them. They always obeyed their mothers’ wishes. If one got punished, all of them took the same punishment and when one was praised all of them took the praise.
In Hastinapura, Duryodhana and his brothers were growing up too. Shakuni, the brother of Gandhari, was always with the children, ill advising them and making them hate their cousins, the children of Pandu who were in the hermitage with Pandu, even before the Kauravas knew the Pandavas.
One day, Madri as usual was plucking flowers in the garden. By the looks of Madri, Pandu felt desire for Madri. The memory of the curse briefly eluded him. He approached her filled with desire; death struck Pandu immediately. Madri was filled with remorse.
Pandu’s death brought so much grief to Kunti, Madri and the Pandavas. Kunti, being the first wife, decided to become “sati,” meaning to throw herself on her husband’s funeral pyre. This worried Madri as she thought Kunti would be a better mother to the Pandavas than her. Also, her guilt at being the cause of her husband’s death, prevented her to live another day on earth without him. She knew Kunti would do justice to all the five children and that she could leave them in her motherly care while joining her husband peacefully.
At first Kunti refused the idea. After Madri’s enormous efforts, at last Kunti was convinced and agreed. She promised Madri that she had always considered Nakula and Sahadeva as her own children and now more than ever she would give special attention towards them. Hearing this Madri sat with Pandu’s dead body on the funeral pyre and became “sati.” Kunti performed the last rites with the five children. She vowed to dedicate herself to the upbringing of the Pandavas. The Pandavas under the loving care of their mother Kunti became a united force.
The Rishis of the forest took them to Hastinapura to hand them over to Bhishma. The eldest of the Pandavas, Yudhishthira was sixteen. The dreadful news about Pandu’s death had reached the palace. Bhishma immediately rushed in with Vidura, Dhritarashtra and all the royal family members to welcome Kunti and the Pandavas. The whole of Hastinapura mourned Pandu’s death as though one of their family members had died. It showed that Pandu was loved by all the citizens of Hastinapura wholeheartedly. The Sage Vyasa warned Great-grand Queen Satyavati, saying that all that had happened until now was to be considered good compared to what would happen in the future of Hastinapura. There would be deceit, hatred and sorrow. He advised her not to witness this by staying at the palace, but to go to the forest to live peacefully in her old days, living a hermit’s life. After listening to her Sage son’s advice, Satyavati agreed to leave the palace with her two daughters-in-law, Ambika and Ambalika. All three of them lived a hermitic life through their last days on earth, escaping the horrible future of Hastinapura.
How will the pandemic play out? Who will win the U.S. Presidential election? How will it impact me? You ask these questions because you want certainty in the future. You seek this certainty because you have forgotten the certainty of your own existence. Your own existence is unchanging, eternal. You will feel unsettled until you know and live from that inner certainty. It’s time to stop looking for certainty in the world and find your eternal, unchanging Essence within.
Technology can make us feel like we are in control of our lives, providing the illusion of certainty. “Siri, set a timer for 5 minutes.” “Alexa, play music I like.” Our phones are smart. Our homes are getting smarter. Stores are opening with no cashiers and no checkout lines. Technology has helped declutter your mind of telephone numbers as well as appointment times and dates. Yet your mind still churns.
You try to calm your mind by finding certainty in external circumstances. But you are looking in the wrong place. To find certainty, look for it in your own existence. The sages from India describe your innermost Essence as unchanging and eternal. In the Vivekachudamani, the 8th century yogic sage Shankaracharya described this Essence:
Aatmaan [your Divine Existence] is birthless and deathless. It neither grows nor decays. It is unchangeable, eternal. It does not dissolve when your body dissolves. — Translated by Swami Nirmalananda
You exist beyond birth and death. You have never not existed. You will never stop existing. Nothing you can take away from yourself will make you less you. Nothing you can add will make you more you. You are unchanging and eternal. You exist. Your existence is the one Eternal Existence that is being everyone and everything.
I remember my first experience of the eternity of my beingness. It was early on in my meditation path. An awareness arose that I always existed and will always exist. It was a knowing beyond my intellect. Having been steeped in the time-space continuum from my scientific education, my intellect was blown away. I could not understand my experience with my mind. Yet I knew my Eternal Beingness was more real than anything my mind could ever understand.
It is incredible that I had such a profound experience of my own eternality so early on in meditation. This is the specialty of Svaroopa® Vidya Meditation: a Meditation Master shows you the way. Swami Nirmalananda is a modern day-Meditation Master, a representative of an unbroken lineage of Masters. She opens the door inside to your own certain Existence. She is the catalyst that fuels the discovery, making it quick and easy.
Well, at least she makes it quicker and easier. This is a process of discovering and learning to abide in your own Existence. It is a bit peculiar: if you are eternal, beyond time, why don’t you know it all the time? The answer is a four-letter word: mind. Your mind draws you outward.
Your mind runs around the world seeking certainty that can only be found inside. It’s not just your mind. Everyone’s mind does this. It’s called the human dilemma. Each of us is the one eternal Existence, yet we don’t know. It is the ultimate quest in life — to know your own eternal Existence. So your mind needs to do some work.
By using your mind to turn inward, you can discover and live in the certainty of your own Existence. Abiding in your eternal Essence, you continue to live in the world. But you approach it from a different place within yourself. While living in this uncertain world, you are based in the certainty of your eternal Existence. To get there, follow the path shown by Swami Nirmalananda and dive within.