By Yogeshwari Fountain & Swami Nirmalananda

“I will be the gladdest thing under the sun.  I will touch a hundred flowers, and not pick one!” — Edna St. Vincent Millay

To look out upon a field of flowers, to smell or touch their delicate beauty, without the desire to pick even one, is a state worth aspiring to.  To be experiencing the bliss of Beingness, while experiencing the world, so you don’t need to grab at the things around you.

Even when you forget your inherent Divinity, you have always been Divine.  While you are a bound soul, yet you have infinite capacity for freedom and joy.  Yoga says you have to learn how to stay involved, genuinely caring for others and enjoying the things of life without depending on them for your sense of self.  It’s not easy.

Your “small-s” self gets entangled in your senses, making your sense of personal worth ride on the outcome.  It comes down to how you use your mind.  It can either be an instrument of pure perception or a sticky Velcro strip, attaching to what you experience, need or want.  Yoga sets you free.

“Your mind becomes free from all desires, for externals, and for things promised in the scriptures, giving a state of complete freedom and joy.”  — Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras 1.15 (rendered by Swami Nirmalananda)

To realize yoga’s promise for yourself, you have to work on yourself.  Built into every desire is a dependency.  Every desire props up a personal identity.  If you don’t fulfill that desire, you feel like you’re going to die!  That’s because your identity depends on that thing for its very existence.

Each of your many identities is part of creating your sense of meaning and purpose in life.  This is a shaky platform, indeed.  When your propping gets knocked out from under you, which life guarantees will happen, who will you be?

You are more than your current identity; you are more than all your identities put together.  You cultivate these many identities because, at the root, you’ve forgotten that you are God.  The ancient sages called this spiritual amnesia, “avidyaa”, the not knowing of your own Divinity.  I know it well:  the indefinable angst that haunted me all my life, until I found my inner Self.

Last month I got entangled in a family drama.  My siblings and I were grieving the death of our mother, so there were the predictable irrational flare-ups.  Each of us wanting our own way, defending our superficial identities.  In frustration, there were moments I wanted to withdraw, to “detach.”   You know how that looks.  You throw up your hands, and say,” I’m done” or, “I’ve had it” or, “I’m out of here!”   But the truth is, yogis don’t bolt.  Nor can they rest on their “spiritual” laurels.  Thus, any discomfort becomes an opportunity for inner clearing and growth.

I could see that, having been my mother’s primary caregiver, I was now reluctant to share the responsibility with my siblings.  My desire “to serve” wasn’t as selfless as I’d thought.  I was surprised to find how dependent I’d become on the identity of the self-sacrificing daughter, capable of doing everything.  In the moment I became aware of this identity, one of the kleshas, something shifted inside.  I was able to let go.  My breath opened up and the energy starting flowing again.  Grace swooped in and freed me.  I could interact with my family lovingly, without being limited by the old stories and my shaky identities.

How do you base yourself in Self?  Moving past your most cherished delusions to the light of consciousness requires an intervention — the cosmic force of Grace, revealing your Divinity again.  Relying on common sense won’t do it.  You know this because you’ve tried, many times before!

In Sanskrit, the name of this cosmic force of revelation is “Guru.:  Swami Nirmalananda is a living manifestation of that conduit of grace.  She reveals to you who you really are, Consciousness-Itself.

“Your mind becomes free from all desires, for externals, and for things promised in the scriptures, giving a state of complete freedom and joy.”

When you abide in such complete freedom and joy, you can participate in what life has to offer without needing it to fulfill you.  The sutra promises that you won’t even cling to the desired results of your spiritual practices!  You could pour yourself into your yoga, without even the need to become enlightened.  Imagine repeating mantra for the pure devotion of it, not so you’ll be happier or calmer, or so that your life will improve (although it will).  Imagine, being the gladdest thing under the sun!  You will touch a hundred flowers, and no longer need to pick one.

by Mangala Allen

Your mind is important. Respect your mind’s power and direct it for your benefit. You can enjoy what your mind gives you or you can suffer from the condition of your mind.

“The condition of your mind is of the greatest importance according to yoga.”  — Swami Nirmalananda (The Pairs of Opposites)

When your mind is busy, you experience an endless stream of thoughts. They can even tumble around running into one another. Sometimes it’s hard to follow one train of thought without getting derailed and following a different train. Following multiple trains at the same time is now mainstream.

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Some reports say you think 65,000 thoughts a single day. These thoughts are seldom relevant to the present moment. You think about the past and how you wanted things to be different.  You think about the future, about how you would like things to be. You spend an abundance of time thinking about how you might proceed in order to achieve what you desire.

It is so easy it is to get lost in your thoughts. You even begin to believe you are your thoughts. You believe what your mind tells you, whether true or not. Your mind can create many stories based on untruths.

A friend of mine, whose opinion I greatly respected, came to see a performance I was in. I looked for her afterward, anxious to hear what she thought of the production. She was nowhere to be found. For her to rush out so quickly, I was sure I must have been just awful. I began to think about how difficult it would be for me to get cast in another show after performing so poorly. I tied myself up in knots imagining all sorts of scenarios. It turned out she hadn’t made it to the performance after all. All my imaginings were for naught. I created my own suffering. I let my mind convince me of things that were simply untrue.

“The condition of your mind is of the greatest importance, according to yoga.”
— Swami Nirmalananda

Yoga reveres a quiet mind. Yoga’s practices quiet your mind for you. It is when your mind becomes quiet that you can truly experience and appreciate the wonder of your essence, called “Self.”

You experience your own Self in meditation. Each time your mind becomes still you have an experience of Self.  Learn to steep in this profound experience. You saturated your mind with the Self and bring more and more of you into your life. You live from a deeper level instead of from your head or heart. Your mind becomes very different. It is not disturbed by anything.

“Everyone has a conflict going on between the heart and the head, between stillness and mental agitation.”
— Swami Muktananda (From the Finite to the Infinite, page 388)

I am fortunate to have a teacher who has helped me understand the importance of the condition of my mind.  She taught me the practices she learned from her teacher. I am learning day by day to live from my own Self and let my mental agitation go. I am truly on a path of Grace.

OM svaroopa svasvabhava namo namaha

To your Inherent Divinity again and again I bow

By Mati (Sandra) Gilbert

Food is important.  People eat to get nourished and to feel satisfied.  Though food can never fully nourish you and fully satisfy you, you try.  Yet what is lacking is your own Self for the food that is nourishing to a yogi is to know your own divinity.

You decide whether to pursue excess eating and drinking as well as fighting and the other instinctual pleasures of the world.  Animals pursue these activities.  What separates you from them is the ability to find and know your own Divinity.  Only human beings have the capacity to know the divine Consciousness vibrating within.  The study of sutras is one of the yogic practices that moves you toward your Self.

J-naanam anna.m

Knowledge is Food.  Pure knowledge is the only real nourishment, that which gives full satisfaction.  — Shiva Sutras 2.9, rendered by Swami Nirmalananda

You gain yogic knowledge in order to pursue the bliss of knowing your inherent Divinity.    Once you know and abide in the knowledge that you are Divine, you experience the world on a whole new level.  You still participate in activities of the world, but those activities do not consume you.  You remain established in the knowledge of your Self.

For the last several months, the challenges in my personal life has kept me in a constant turmoil.  As a yogi, I had the tools — mantra and meditation — to keep me grounded to some degree.  I used those tools but there were periods of time when my personal challenges seemed to win.  My small “s” self was powerful.

Swami Nirmalananda, my teacher, came to our yoga studio to hold a meditation satsang last month.  Just seeing her face made me feel better and more secure.  She gave a lecture on the ocean, how both the waves and deep water interact and how they are different.  My personal challenges were the waves, which kept me in a constant state of frustration and impatience.

Seeing and hearing the wisdom in her words made me yearn for the deep ocean where it is calm.  In this state, I am my capital-S Self: knowing I am more that my current emotional state.  I am Divine.  Do I lose my Self from time to time?  Yes. However, each time is shorter and less stressful.  I become more centered in my Self every time I say mantra and meditate.  Swamiji’s presence and love keeps me more grounded in my Self.

Yes, food is important.  It is a way to keep your body and mind healthy.  Getting the teachings about the Self truly nourishes your inner yearning.  Once I found my teacher, and through the Grace that flows through her to me, I now know I am Divine.   And my goal for today and the future is to always live in the knowingness that I am Consciousness-itself.  Even though you are always the Self, knowledge of the Self is the rarest of gifts, and it comes only through the Grace of the Guru.

By Yogeshwari Fountain

I thought I understood the nature of Aatmaa, your Divine Self.  It made sense to me that “the formlessness of your inner Essence, Aatmaa, is eternal and never decays.  You are an infinite being, having a human experience.” Yes!  However, I now realize that what you learn with your mind is nothing compared to what you experience in your heart.  You may think you understand something, but until you experience it on the inside, it remains a theory.

I recently had the privilege of tending to and being present with my mother through the last week of her life.  Day by day, I experienced the truth of Shankaracharya’s Vivekachudamani:

“Aatmaan is birthless and deathless.  It neither grows nor decays.  It is unchangeable, eternal.  It does not dissolve when your body dissolves.”

As her body systematically shut down, she shed her limitations; the radiance of the One Self being her expanded exponentially.  I sat in awe.  I chanted mantras.  I lay beside her in bed and read to her, and did mundane things like manicures and looking through photos.  I listened to her process, how she was figuring out what was left to be resolved, as she shared her vivid dream life and random thoughts.  She was shifting in and out of God’s time, the Eternal Self.

I stayed steady in my own Self, going along on an amazing cosmic ride through time and space.  This openness utterly took me by surprise.  Fear of my mother’s death had haunted me since childhood.  As a dear friend reminded me, I’d told her to expect me calling in hysterics when Mom passed.  Yet, when she did, I was sad yet fearless, and grateful for it all.  Even as I was surrounded by other’s deep grief, I felt full inside, closer to my mom than ever.  What happened? How did she cross the ocean of this world without me being shattered?

First, I was aware that Aatmaa was not born when my mother was born!  Aatmaa is being all that exists in form, and beyond form, while being you, me and everything.  This Self that you are is sustaining you, bringing your mind and senses into existence: making your eyes able to see, your ears hear, your tongue taste, and your mind think.  Yet when each of these senses dissolve, which I witnessed happening in my mom, Aatmaa does not die.  There is no death, even as the physical body decays and expires.

As my mom’s desires and identities faded away, there was only Presence left.  It didn’t feel like our relationship was slipping away, but actually solidifying.  There was more of me with her than ever before.  I was experiencing svaroopavidya; the experiential knowing of my own Self.

Most people view death as a transition into a better “place,” moving into the light or finding God at last.  But a yogi doesn’t wait until death for the liberation of the light, of God, of knowing the Self.  The purpose of a yogi’s whole life is to live in the Self NOW.  Teachers take it to another level, spreading that inner effulgence into the world.  Without the practices of yoga, I would not have been was able to abide in such peace during my mom’s transition.

I was also given the great gift of time (years of caregiving with my mom) and a supportive and loving husband.  And throughout it all, I felt cocooned within my Guru’s grace.  I realized that without Shaktipat initiation, I would have been burdened by the weight of my past karmas, stuck in my head, stuck in my “stuff.”  Instead, I felt clear and present.  Without mantra repetition, my mind might have spun into old limited fears around death.  And without the foundation of meditation, I would have been lost!  In Swami Muktananda’s book Does Death Really Exist?, he describes it this way:

“When we meditate, we become established in the seat of the inner Self, and then we are liberated from death.”

I will be learning from my mother’s departure for many years to come.  It will be an integral part of my sadhana, and of what I know myself to be, Consciousness-Itself.  On the day of her death, my family and I walked along the beach.  It was a glorious Indian summer day.  The monarch butterflies were everywhere!  “A sign from mom” they said joyfully, “there she is!” I said to myself, “Yes, and there I am”.  For in yoga, there is no here or there, no you or me, no beginning and no end.  There I am, there you are, being Shiva, for there is only the One, being All.

OM svaroopa svasvabhavah namo namah

By Mangala Allen

Thousands of years ago, yoga’s sages explained that energy became light. Light became matter. Everything is made of light.  Scientists now agree, calling it the Big Bang, but they’re still trying to figure it all out.  Yoga explains it fully:

“The Big Bang was not an explosion, with light expanding into a field of darkness. It was an implosion, with Shiva contracting within Shiva’s own being to contract light into matter and bring the universe into existence.”  — Swami Nirmalananda (Dark & Light, December 2010)

This means you are made of light. More than that, you are the source of the light that has become the universe.  It shines from within your being. So, let it shine!

While you are the light of Consciousness, Consciousness took on contraction to become you. A human life is a process of contraction until you decide to go the other way, embracing a process of expansion. Yoga begins the expansion by helping you become present in your own body.

Svaroopa^® yoga poses accomplish this by dissolving the unnecessary tensions in your body. When you release these physical tensions, your mind becomes calm. When your mind is calm, you experience who you are — beyond your mind. You know your Self as the light of Consciousness you are.

My teacher, Swami Nirmalananda, says, “You are that light, that presence, that beingness. You are that which the ancient yogis called That.”

While you are born into contraction, the ultimate purpose of human life is to turn that process around, so you can expand into your That-ness. Yoga specializes in inner expansion, the process by which your light shines from your innermost being, fills you from the inside and flows into your life. Yoga removes the blocks that prevent your light from pervading your body and shining into the world.  Yoga’s process reveals your Self, your inner source, to you.

Doing poses, reading books and watching videos are a way to put a toe in the water, testing out if you want this inner expansion. To go further, you need a guide, someone who has gone through the process and thus can direct you in the most efficient and effective way. You need a Guru, one who can take you from darkness (gu) to light (ru).

You are at your best when you are aglow with your inner light. You experience light, love and joy and share it with others. This is how you want to live in every moment of every day. When you have the experiential knowing of your That-ness, you recognize everyone is That as well. You see the light shinning in everyone and everything, already there.  You experience life and everyone in it in a whole new way.

A disciple once asked Swami Muktananda , “Who are you?”  Baba replied, “Certainly, I can say one thing: I am that which people call That.” (From the Finite to the Infinite)

This is not new. This teaching has been passed down through the ages; it is the essence of our yogic tradition. Generation by generation, teacher passed it to disciple, repeating the cycle since the beginning of time. My teacher is guiding me along the path to knowing I am That. In the beginning, I got glimpses. Now I am becoming more and more established in my own source, my Divine essence. I am the light that fills me and flows into the world.

Remember:  “You are that light that presence that beingness. You are that which the ancient yogis called That.”

Let It Shine, Let It Shine!

By Yogeshwari (Melissa) Fountain

You are a Divine incarnation with the capacity to access the infinite within you.  Yoga describes that the vastness of Consciousness chooses to manifest, through many levels of contraction, to become matter.  From the formless to the form, all is made of the One.  Everything is Consciousness!

“Yoga promises you that you will know yourself to the deepest and fullest extent, recognizing your own Divinity and seeing it in everyone and everything else.” — Swami Nirmalananda

The point of yoga’s practices is that you know and experience this within yourself.  This is easy when you are emerging from a deep meditation or at the end of a yoga class.  Your quiet mind makes you able to experience peace.  You’ve found an entry into the infinite within, which is called “svaroopa,” your own Divine Essence.

Yet most of the time, you’re not experiencing yourself as Divine.  While the infinite reality is concealed in every object, you can’t see the it because you’re trapped in your preferences.  If you like how something is going, it’s yoga; if not, it can’t possibly be yoga.  A yoga student returned home one day to see her kitchen flooded.  She stood there and made a decision: “I guess this is my yoga for the day”.  She rolled up her sleeves, opened her heart, got to work, and was in a state of bliss throughout the clean-up.

Not everything goes your way.  Not everyone one is interested in yoga or inner peace.  Swamiji says, “If you’re looking for the world and the people around you to show you their Divinity, you’re going to have a long wait.”  The only way you can find the Divinity that pervades all of existence is by looking inward.   You must find God in yourself first.

I learned a beautiful Sanskrit verse in yoga teacher training which begins with:

OM poornamadah pooornamidam…

OM. That is perfect. This is perfect.

“That” is your Divine Beingness, already perfect and full.  “This” is everyone and everything in this world, already perfect and full.  If you had told me B.Y. (before yoga) that “everything is perfect, the perfect becoming the perfect,” I’d have thought you were crazy.  For I was a master of the “yes…buts.”  A lifelong skeptic, I was trying to make the world fit into my expectations.  To me, “the perfect” meant perfectionism.  If I perfected the poses, if I was the perfect wife and mother, even the perfect yogi, then my life would fall into place.  These delusions captivated me for years!  When I chanted that mantra, it felt like a promise of things to come.  Deep inside, somehow I knew I was more than my mind was telling me.

In order to behold the perfect in everything, you must first find it within.  You’ve already proved to yourself that figuring things out doesn’t make you enlightened.  You cannot really enlighten yourself.  Only One who knows the Self can reveal your inherent Divinity to you.

Swami Nirmalananda describes it this way, “I was so fortunate to find such a One.  I didn’t know that I was looking for my Self.  I didn’t know that my mind was what was in the way.  My Guru showed me what I was looking for and how to get deeper in, past my mind.  I live in undying gratitude to Him, and delight in serving others who want the same.”

Even though this world is chaotic and unpredictable, it is the form of formless Consciousness.  Everything coming at you is another form of the Divine.  Everything!  Your mind doesn’t have to understand.  Why?  Because you are more than your mind.  How do you find your Self?

• Pause in the midst of your activities.  Take a breath.  Even sigh!
• Offer whatever you are doing to your own Divine Self, the One who is being you while being all.

In this way, you will begin to explore yoga’s promise: to know your Self to the deepest and fullest extent.

OM svaroopa svasvabhavah namo namah

By Mati (Sandra) Gilbert

Choices!  You make many choices each day, some easy and some hard.  When I was younger, I had to decide between change and security.  A single mom with an 8 year-old son, I had just purchased a home.  My job was very secure but I had advanced as far as I could.  Though I was good at it and it was easy for me, I was no longer satisfied with the status quo.  An opportunity came along.  There was a path for advancement but it did not offer any degree of security.  Was I willing to take a chance?  Decision time!

Family, job, projects, and other areas of your life bring you to the brink sometimes.  Life is not always easy.  If you continue to choose the easy path, looking for events and situations to flow easily, you are at the mercy of events and the people who cause them.  No matter how much effort you put into setting up your life perfectly, there will always be something beyond your control.  It often changes the outcome you had planned.  The only thing you have any control over is how you are during life’s challenges.  How are you?

“There are easy parts to life, but hard parts come along in spite of your efforts to avoid them.  Yoga says you must tackle the hard stuff, not merely handle the tough stuff when it comes up, but to look for the challenges and even create them for yourself.  This is called tapas.”                                                                                                                                 — Swami Nirmalananda

Tapas is doing the hard stuff even though it is hard.  Tapas is choosing to challenge yourself by doing hard stuff, precisely because it is hard.  When you get good at it, it is no longer hard for you, and it is no longer tapas.  Doing tapas means you get to choose the challenges you are going to work on, rather than having other thrust them on you.

Swamiji describes a 4-step process to help you make tough decisions.  The steps are

1. Take an intelligent look at yourself
2. Discern what would be the next step
3. Decide to do it
4. Then do it

While this process is straightforward, your choice should be based on what is best, not what you desire most.  This is a pure choice, without expecting a specific outcome.  In other words, you see what is needed and you just do it.

Tapas is very important.  When you decide to do the hard stuff without neediness or discontent, your body and your senses are purified and improved.  You gain a new understanding of your life and the world around you.  The benefits you get from doing tapas greatly exceeds the effort you expended.

Because of the teachings of my Guru, Swami Nirmalananda, and the Grace that flows through her, I am on the path to knowing my inner divinity — my Self.  Therefore, the hard stuff does not throw me like it used to.  Whether something is hard or easy is not the deciding factor in what I decide to do.  I can and must choose where to pour my energy.  Sometimes it is easy, flowing along almost effortlessly.  Sometimes it is hard, requiring work to accomplish the tiniest little bit of progress.

In yoga, the determining factor in what you are doing is not based on how easy or hard it is — it is based on who you are while you are doing it.  Through the practice of tapas, your own Self shines through your mind, your heart, your relationships, your work, and your life.  Your life will continue to have challenges.  However, it is much easier once you know your Self — your own inherent Divinity.

By Yogeshwari Fountain

You can travel the world to visit holy sites.  Many of my friends have shared profound experiences of touching the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, gazing up at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or walking the 500-mile El Camino trail through Spain.  My husband hiked down into the Grand Canyon this summer and felt he’d never be the same again.

Expansive, spiritual settings expand us back into the Self, the vastness of our own inner Being.  Yet Yoga says that the most sacred site of all is your own body, here in the present moment, in each breath you take, and on the very ground upon which you now stand.

“The spot where you now stand is sacred ground.  You, standing on it, and your body with which you stand are both sacred.  There is nowhere that God is not.”  — Swami Nirmalananda (formerly Rama Berch),

Tadasana teaches you how to stand firmly, with precise alignment and total ease.  While often-called “Mountain Pose,” it is more importantly the “pose of That” (the Supreme Reality).  Being grounded in your body is more than a physical feeling of strength and stamina, but a quality of quiet mind and surrender.

We are accustomed to looking outside ourselves for the holy.  Yet, whenever I stop what I am doing and allow myself to feel that shift back inside my body, I feel more my “Self.”  Standing in stillness opens up your breath, and releases your spinal tension.  Your eyes become clear and you gain a new perspective.

Consider the power of standing still.  Not rushing off to the next thing you have to do.  Not squirming in discomfort, or checking your smart phone.  Not worrying about your next move.   Instead, settle into an upright stillness that is both internally quiet and immovable.  You might even feel gravity’s gentle pull through your muscles and bones, while you feel taller and lighter.  It’s amazing!  A seven-year named Zachery once described this to me as, “I know what God is!  God is gravity!”

It’s true that standing in my bones connects me to God’s presence within me, as me.  By standing still, you trust that where you are, right now, is just where you are supposed to be, and can let go.

This is a radically different view of the world: there is nothing you have to attain, no one you have to be, for everything is already perfect, already Divine.  The ultimate Reality that pervades all of existence, Shiva, is being every thought, every breath and every experience you are having.  The mundane and the divine are inextricably interwoven.  This is called Tantric living, and it comes from Kashmiri Shaivism, the yoga philosophy I practice.  It has taken me years to slow down, to stand still, to become more aware.  But as I continue to surrender to meditation and my Guru’s Grace, the easier it becomes.

Later this year, I am going on pilgrimage to Ganeshpuri, India, a sleepy little village that is the home of my Guru’s lineage.  I’ve been there before.  I already know that every inch of soil beneath my feet will feel sacred to me.  Everywhere I’ll look I’ll see the face of God.

Yet as special as this is, I don’t have to go to India to find it.  I know the temple is within me.  Right here and now, the ground I am standing upon is sacred; as is the body I live in.   Perhaps you too have a special place of pilgrimage, one that will reliably make you feel quiet inside and filled with grace.  You need look no further: stand here, now.