By Swami Prajñananda

I used to wish that I didn’t need to sleep. It seemed like such a waste of time.

And I did a pretty good job over the years of burning the candle at both ends. The most extreme of which was when I was part of a dance team that started practice at midnight. After practice I would walk home, get about three hours of sleep, wake up, go to work and then do it all again. Yeah, I only lasted a couple months on that schedule.

In retrospect, I can see that part of me was onto something with my lifestyle. I wanted to be awake. I couldn’t put words to it at the time, but it was a desire to know that my life was meaningful — that I was meaningful.

So I kept busy and poured myself into everything that I did. Unfortunately, the main thing I got from all this was exhaustion, called “shrama” in Sanskrit. Technically shrama means the fatigue that comes from worldliness.

What is worldliness? It is the focus and pouring of your energies into the world. When you do this without being based in your own inner depth, you drain yourself easily. You are not present in your body, but rather “out there” somewhere.

You may want to blame it on a busy day, but there is more going on. Truly, you drain yourself more with your mind than anything you can do with your body. For how many thoughts do you think in a day? Some research says the average is about 60,000 with 80% of those thoughts being negative.

Unfortunately, everyone’s mind loves to dwell on painful memories and future worries, yours too. Each time you do, your own presence leaves your body and goes out with your thoughts. Not only is this painful, it is also draining. This is why we fall into bed at the end of the day exhausted. We’ve lost our own presence and have drained our own energy.

This is a big reason why people come, or should come, to an ashram. For “ashram” means without (“a-”) fatigue (“shrama”). When you come to an ashram, you begin to dissolve your lifetime’s worth of exhaustion (or perhaps from many lifetimes). You also learn how to live in a way as to not create more.

Yet this is not about escaping the world. No, that’s not it at all. In fact you don’t even have to physically go to an ashram. Rather, you can do the practices that the ashram recommends: poses, breathing, chanting, mantra, meditation and more. When you apply yourself to these practices, you learn how to live in your body in a whole new way. And this completely changes your experience of the world.

Instead of looking outward for what you think you need, or running away from what you think you don’t, you stay grounded inside. You are centered in your own presence, your own Self. This is truly what it means to be awake. This is described in the Shiva Sutras 1.8:

J~naana.m jaagrat

Knowledge is wakefulness

We usually think of knowledge as what you learn with your mind. But, this sutra describes a deeper knowing. It is the experience of your own presence, beyond your mind. This is your essence, the light of your own being.

When you ground into the inner infinity of your own light, it is called wakefulness. You are awake! When you are lost looking outward to the world to complete you, this is called darkness. You don’t know who you are. You are asleep even with your eyes open.

So how do you move from darkness to light? It is not something you do easily on your own. Otherwise, you would have done it by now. You need someone who can show you the way. Just like you needed someone to teach you how to tie your shoes, learn the ABC’s and ride a bike, you also need a teacher to show you how to move towards the light.

This is the literal translation of the Sanskrit word “Guru.” Guru is a compound word: “gu” means darkness and “ru” means light. The Guru is one who takes you from darkness to light. They give you an inner awakening, so you begin to shine from the inside out. You learn how to stay based in your own light and even to see the same light in the world.

Now, when you act, even when you think, you aren’t creating shrama. You aren’t draining your energy. For, the fact is, you are based in the source of energy itself. You can be a light onto the world. Living in joy and spreading that joy everywhere you go. If you like how this sounds, well, it’s time to wake up.

(1) coloradoparent.com