While I was doing deep internal work, it was the external world that showed me my spiritual progress. I was more centered and peaceful in the midst of life. Less reactive. Less needy. More decisive, simply knowing what to do.
Anxiety left me, for I wasn’t hoping to get something outside of me that would complete me – I felt complete within my own Self. A subtle level of bliss was always there, an undercurrent, under everything else in my mind. I could rely on this inner buoyancy, like I was floating in an extra salty sea. I used the world to help me gauge my deepening spiritual state.
Baba did it a different way. He used his inner experiences to gauge his spiritual progress. One of the reasons is that he had lots of inner experiences! Fortunately he wrote about them for us, so we can learn from his mystical inner expansion.
He had physical kriyas, spontaneous movements, classical yoga poses during his meditations. And pranayamas, yogic breathing patterns. He saw lights and colors, Gods and Goddesses, heaven and hell, other worlds and much more. One reason he did it that way is because he had 25 years of full-time yoga practice before he got Shaktipat.
I had 0 years before Shaktipat. Well, I had 4 or 5 months as I had started a yoga class a few months earlier. When I got Shaktipat, I had no clue what was happening to me. I loved it, but was at sea without a compass. Until I read his books and listened to his discourses.
Still, I haven’t seen all the things he saw. I’m not so visual as he was. I am more kinesthetic, so I feel my way inward. Like I can feel the Truth, rather than see it. For me, it’s a feeling.
And Baba emphasized feeling – bhaava. He said, “God is in your feeling.”
How do you know love? It’s a feeling.
How do you know happiness? It’s a feeling.
How do you know God? God is in your feeling.
This is why yoga gives you ways to get better at feeling. One way is by cultivating your proprioception, your ability to sense your body and its movements – the yoga poses do this for you.
Another way is by cultivating your energetic enlivenment. Your yogic breathing practice does this, giving you more prana, making you more alive. Baba said that every disease is due to…
— Excerpt from March 16 Satsang Discourse, available for viewing in our Deep Teachings Videos.
I remember learning how to float on my back. “Just relax,” they told me.
But when I relaxed, I folded in half and headed toward the bottom of the pool butt-first. If I stiffened, my whole body went under. If I kept kicking or moving my arms, I wasn’t floating.
I discovered there was a trick to it – a relaxing without caving in, an ease and feeling of surrender to the water. It’s a sweet spot that’s a lot like meditation. I don’t know if floating made my mind still or if I had to still my mind in order to float. But there is a trick to it. I’ll call it coasting the edge.
It’s the same edge that you coast when you’re watching the sunrise or sunset. You stay still for quite a while, as there’s nothing to do but watch and wait. The colors play across the horizon, brighten, darken and disappear.
Except, did you see it all? Or did you get so still that you lost track of the outside? There’s a trick to it. To truly enjoy the sunrise, you have to settle inside, yet still perceiving the glory playing out in front of you.
This is how you get enlightened — inside and outside at the same time. The magical moment where it is easiest to learn how to do this is at the ending of your meditation period. It is so magical that it has a name – vyutthana…
This is why some of you like to stay in bed after the alarm goes off. Or you don’t want to use an alarm at all. What’s happening? You wake up but you don’t move, hoping to drift back to sleep – but not really all the way to sleep, just sort of halfway in, coasting the edge.
This is a meditative state called turiya – it’s very close to enlightenment. It’s full of bliss, but it is unfortunately unconscious bliss. You drift on the edge for a little bit, then fall back asleep. You might use a snooze alarm to wake you again, so you coast inward again… and maybe again… how many times?
I call this snooze-alarm meditation. And when you do finally get up, you’re heavy and slow, a little dense and thick. It’s hard to get moving. That’s because you chose unconsciousness over Consciousness.
But if you get up early, especially before the sunrise, you choose Consciousness. So many of you are already waking up spontaneously at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. You may call it the middle of the night. Yoga calls it brahma-muhurta – the body of God. It is two hours…
The only neutral parties in the war were: Dhritarashtra’s younger brother Vidura, the ex-prime minister of Hastinapura; Krishna’s brother Balarama; and King Rukmi, the brother of Krishna’s wife Rukmini.
When Krishna abducted Rukmini according to her will, he defeated Rukmi. Ever since that, out of shame, Rukmi never returned to his father’s kingdom. He created another capital called Bhojakata and started ruling from there.
Krishna taking Rukmini1
Rukmi heard about the upcoming war and marched with his army to offer help to the Pandavas. His ulterior motive was to get closer to Krishna his brother-in-law.
Knowing Rukmi’s selfish attitude and arrogance, the Pandavas refused his help. Furious, Rukmi went across to the Kaurava camp and offered to help them. Since he went to the Pandavas first, Duryodhana also rejected his offer to help. With rejection from both parties, Rukmi returned to his capital, suffering dishonor.
Both armies pitched their camps opposite each other, leaving a vast land in between. Now they needed to find an auspicious day to do a special puja to the Goddess Kali to ensure a victory. Duryodhana went to Grandsire Bhishma seeking advice on this matter.
Bhishma advised there was no better astrologer than the Pandava prince Sahadeva, so to ask for his help in finding the best day for the ceremony. As Sahadeva is dedicated to righteousness, Bhishma believed that he would help Duryodhana with his unreasonable request.
Duryodhana silently went to the Pandava camp that night to seek Sahadeva’s help to find an auspicious day. Sahadeva welcomed Duryodhana wholeheartedly. Duryodhana, motivated by his greediness, spoke anxiously, praising Sahadeva’s expertise in astrology. Then he asked him to find him an auspicious day for Kali puja to ensure the Kaurava victory.
Sahadeva2
Sahadeva offered to help Duryodhana without reluctance, pulled out his Almanac and looked for a good day. After some calculations, Sahadeva said that the following new moon, which fell on the day after, was an auspicious time to perform the puja and to commence the war, as that would surely give Kaurava the desired victory.
Duryodhana left the Pandava camp with great joy, thanking Sahadeva profoundly. He was so certain that the war was already won. This event shows that not even Duryodhana had any doubts about the Pandavas’ innate nobleness.
First thing the next morning, Krishna and the rest of the Pandavas were told about Duryodhana’s visit with Sahadeva. Krishna pretended to be surprised and acted to show his dissatisfaction. Yudhishthira, on the other hand, embraced Sahadeva and praised him for upholding dharma even though it might cost them their lives.
Then he turned to Krishna and asked for his guidance and support.
Krishna knew that Yudhishthira would embrace Sahadeva for his righteousness. Krishna also instructed Yudhishthira to get the Brahmins to worship the sun and the moon that same day, as well as to perform rituals pertaining to the new moon instead of on the day after as per Sahadeva’s calculations. Yudhishthira and the Pandavas obeyed Krishna’s request and had the Brahmins do their rituals on that very same morning.
Sun God Surya & Moon God Chandra3
Seeing this, the Sun God Surya and the Moon God Chandra were very confused. They were troubled by Krishna’s actions and decided to come down to earth to ask him why he was encouraging the Brahmins to do this on the wrong day. When Krishna was confronted by Surya and Chandra, with a big smile on his face, he asked them, “When does the new moon occur?”
Surprised by Krishna’s question, they answered simultaneously, saying, “When the sun and moon come face to face together, that is the day of the new moon, as the moon cannot be seen at all. It appears invisible from earth.” With a big laugh, Krishna said, “You mean when you both come together, that is the day of the new moon, right? Here you are both together standing right in front of me. So, the new moon day is today, not tomorrow!”
The Sun God and the Moon God were confused at this straight definition. They both were taken by Krishna’s wits. That’s when they realized that he created this plan to help the Pandavas. They then departed to their respective abodes.
Uluka & Duryodhana4
Duryodhana was furious to hear about this incident. He was so angry that he decided to send Shakuni’s son Uluka to the Pandava camp to mock them. Uluka was to deliver a message to Yudhishthira saying that the Kaurava army is ready to face them, under the great command of Grandsire Bhishma.
In his message, he insulted the Pandavas, calling them cowards and calling their wife Draupadi a common woman. He also insulted Krishna, calling him a sorcerer. After hearing Duryodhana’s insulting message, Uluka departed with an uncompromising message from the Pandavas and Krishna to Duryodhana. The devastating epic war, as reported in the Mahabharata, was about to start.
In Hastinapura, Sage Vyasa appeared in front of King Dhritarashtra. King Dhritarashtra was very anxious about what was going on the battlefield. Seeing this, Sage Vyasa asked if the king would like to witness the war. If so, Vyasa could grand the king divine vision.
Dhritarashtra refused the offer, saying that it would be too difficult for him to watch his own families fighting and killing each other. But he was still interested in knowing the events on the battlefield. So he said he wouldn’t mind if someone could narrate all that was happening there for him, so he could be informed. So Vyasa blessed Sanjaya, Dhritarashtra’s minister, with clairvoyance, so that he could see the battlefield right from the palace and inform King Dhritarashtra of all the happenings.
Bhisma5
In the battlefield, Grandsire Bhishma was sitting on a silver chariot with white horses. His armor glowed like silver in the morning sun. He cheered the Kaurava army with encouraging words, saying to them to fight whole-heartedly, motivating them to walk in the path of their ancestors. He reminded them that either victory or heaven stands before them. The gate of heaven will be wide open for those soldiers who care less for their lives, so to fight with all their might and die a hero.
A true soldier never shows their back on the battlefield, fighting to their last breath. Death by a weapon is a soldier’s honor. Bhishma asked them to fight with joy, so to gain glory and honor. These words really made an impact in the Kaurava army. Encouraged by these powerful words, the Kaurava army marched with great confidence to the battlefield with shouts of victory and glory to Kauravas.
Battle dhvajas (flags)6
Each chariot of the warriors had their flag flying high and mighty. A flag is called a dhvaja, the symbol of a king or army that’s carried on a pole. Flags often depicted objects that represented the warrior’s skills, qualities, or affiliations.
Bhishma’s flag was a palm tree with a cluster of five stars around it, which symbolized his extensive knowledge. The symbol on Guru Drona’s flag was an altar covered with deerskin, with a kamandala (yogi’s water pot) and an archery bow on top, depicting him as a brahmin warrior.
Kripacharya had a humped bull on his flag. Ashwatthama’s had the figure of the magnificent tail of a lion. Duryodhana’s had a serpent representing strength. A golden moon with planets around it was in Yudhishthira’s flag. Bhima’s chariot bore a flag with a gigantic lion in silver. Arjuna’s flag had Hanuman, representing his basis for victory, a boon by Lord Hanuman himself. The flags flying all over battlefield announced the greatness of the warriors on it.
The following were the strengths of both the armies. Each army consisted of several divisions, called akshauhinis. Each of them had a particular number of ratha (chariots), gaja (elephants), thuraga (horses), pathathi (foot warriors and soldiers). An akshauhini or division included 21,870 chariots and chariot riders, 21,870 elephants and elephant riders, 65,610 horses and horse riders, and 109,350 foot-soldiers, in a ratio of 1:1:3:5. Therefore an akshauhini will consist of 218,700 soldiers.
Akshauhinis (divisions) of armies8
The Pandavas had 7 akshauhinis while the Kauravas had 11 akshauhinis. In essence, nearly 3.94 million warriors and soldiers took part in the great Kurukshetra War. Each akshauhini was under a commander or a general, apart from the Commander in Chief, who was the head of the entire army.
During the war, the weapons included: the bow and arrows, the mace, the spear and the sword. In each of the armies, these weapons were chosen by the warriors and soldiers as their primary weapon. Mainly the bow was chosen by Arjuna, Bhishma, Drona, Karna and Abhimanyu, with the mace chosen by Bhima and Duryodhana. The spear was chosen by Yudhishthira and Shalya, and the sword by Nakula, Sahadeva, and Uluka to name a few of the warriors.
Many military formations were used throughout the 18-day battle. At various times during battle, the Commander in Chief of either army ordered special formations, called the vyuhas. Each vyuha had a specific purpose: some were defensive while others were offensive.
Each formation had its specific strengths and weaknesses. Each formation required a particular number of ratha (chariots), gaja (elephants), thuraga (horses), pathathi (foot warriors and soldiers) placed in strategic positions. The following is the list of all the vyuhas used during the battle, each with a short description.
Krauncha vyuha (Crane formation)7
Krauncha Vyuha — heron or crane formation
Makara Vyuha — crocodile formation
Kurma Vyuha — tortoise or turtle formation
Trishula Vyuha — trident formation
Chakra Vyuha — wheel or discus formation in concentric circles. This is a critical vyuha that mattered during the war, with details coming later
Kamala Vyuha or Padma Vyuha — blooming lotus formation
Garuda Vyuha — eagle formation
Oormi/Urmi Vyuha — ocean formation, resembling the ocean’s waves
Mandala Vyuha — galaxy formation
Vajra Vyuha — diamond or thunderbolt formation
Shakata Vyuha — box or cart formation
Asura Vyuha — demon formation
Deva Vyuha — divine formation
Soochi Vyuha — needle formation
Sringataka Vyuha — horn formation
Ardha Chandraakara or Chandrakala Vyuha — crescent/curved blade or crescent moon formation
Mala Vyuha — garland formation
Sarvatobhadra Vyuha – meaning “safe on all sides,” a kind of a square array formation, in which the troops face outward in all directions.
You have already had many expansive experiences. Yoga doesn’t have a copyright on bliss. It simply makes the bliss more accessible and longer lasting.
The goal is to live in the constant bliss of your own Self. Bliss is your essence. Bliss is your nature. Anything that stops your mind makes space for the bliss of your own Beingness to arise inside.
If you’re not in bliss, your mind is messin’ with you. You’re chasing your thoughts instead of abiding in the spontaneous bliss of Consciousness. How do you want to live? You get to choose.…
For me, it all changed once I got Shaktipat. Having a Guru made life easier for me, both easier and more understandable.
Life was more understandable because I could see the bigger picture. It wasn’t about what was happening today, not even about “what’s happening to me,” but it was about where I place myself on the timeline. And the timeline was longer – spiritual development spans lifetimes.
It felt like, instead of a sprint where I exhaust myself as fast as I can, I was on a trek where I needed to pace myself – steady, consistent progress, taking care of my mind and body along the way. Yes, life became more understandable.
I also found life to be easier. This was because I had inner depth, so little things didn’t throw me off center anymore. It was like I became a Weeble. You remember the kid’s toy, “Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.”
Consider what happens if you don’t have a Guru.
You’re always looking for something, but you don’t know what you’re looking for.
You look everywhere because you don’t know where to look – inside.
Everything that happens is critical to your sense of self-worth, which depends on the outer world, which is always changing.
Other people’s opinions of you make you who you are. So you’re always trying to manage their minds, not merely your own.
And you look for escape hatches – ways to trigger bliss, peek experiences, p-e-e-k, but you don’t know how they work. Or what you’re peeking at.
This is called “normal.” It is also called bondage, that you’re tied up in knots, the gnarly knots in your mind and heart. And in your body. Yoga gives you a way to begin unraveling the knots. Yoga explains that there is something worth finding, but it is located inside.
Yoga gives you a peek at it, a glimpse of your own Self. And tools to attune yourself to your own Self, ways to progressively surrender into who you really are.
And yoga gives you proof. Proof that there is a destination worth going to, proof that there is a path and a process, and proof that the goal is attainable. The Guru is the proof.
— Excerpt from Expansive Experiences discourse 2/16/25
