By Swami Samvidaananda Saraswati

I didn’t know I wanted a Guru, let alone to live in her house.  But from a young age I knew I wanted… something.  I was looking for something I couldn’t find in the choices that were presented to me.  I was told that when I grew up I could be a ballerina, teacher, wife, mother, secretary, nurse.

Then I met Swami Nirmalananda Saraswati.  She is a Guru, a spiritual teacher.  She offered an additional option: I could be enlightened.  She taught me about the Self, the Divine essence of my being.  It’s not just of my being, but of your being.  Your essence is the One Divine Essence that is being everything that exists, yet beyond everything that exists.  The One is called Self.  Because when you experience the One, you experience your Self.  There’s only One, and it’s you. 

Swami Nirmalananda (Gurudevi) doesn’t simply teach you about the Self.  She gives you the experience of your Self.  And she promises that one day you will never not know your own Divinity. You won’t merely have a glimpse of your Divine Essence; it will become your living experience.  You will BE the Beingness you are.  You will recognize everyone and everything that exists as another form of the same Divine Beingness.  In this tradition, this is called Self Realization.  It’s also called Enlightenment.

How can Gurudevi make that promise?  An ancient yoga text explains:

^{Gururupaaya.h — Shiva Sutras 2.6}

^{The Guru is the means and the goal.}

The Guru is the way by which you can know your Self and become enlightened.  Only if someone has something, can they give it to you.  If I wanted to give you a cookie, I’d have to have a cookie to give.  Gurudevi is a knower of the Self, so she can give that knowing to you.  She has the ability spark an inner awakening in you, so that you know your own Self.  The inner awakening is an initiation called Shaktipat. 

A Shaktipat Guru is extremely rare.  This initiation is her way of serving mankind; it is her gift to you.  Once your inherent Divinity is revealed to you, you can’t go back to not-knowing.  The pain and despair of feeling small, separate, and alone can no longer bind you.

At first, you can easily fall back into the old, limiting patterns in your mind.  They tell you are small, that you are “less than.”  But when you apply yourself to the practices, especially meditation, you dissolve those limiting patterns.  Meditation by meditation, you have experiences of your Self. 

You experience being happy, whole, fulfilled, peaceful, joyful, blissful.  These become new Self-made patterns in your mind.  Thus your mind will no longer block you.  So you must do the practices.  Once you receive Shaktipat initiation, your enlightenment is guaranteed.  But you play a part in how quickly it will happen.

And so, I live in the Guru’s house.  It’s called an Ashram.  One reason I live here is that it’s an option.  Gurudevi could live alone.  But from her unending generosity and dedication to supporting others’ Self-Realization, she established her Ashram.  She chose a home big enough that she can invite people in.  And she created a daily structure filled with yogic practices: meditation and chanting and seva (selfless service).  This structure ensures you are never too far away from your Self.

I live here because I’m dedicated to doing the practices that will get me enlightened.  I’m dedicated because I’m motivated.  Beneath everything else I’ve done in my life, there was a feeling that something was missing.  And there was: my Self.

I also live at the Guru’s house because I want to give back.  I want to support her and the organization she has created to give this inestimably precious gift to the world. There’s no amount that I can give that can equal the gift of my Self.  But I try.

This doesn’t mean you have to live in an Ashram.  Of course, it’s the purpose of a human life: to become Self-Realized.  It’s your personal destiny.  But you can experience the truth of your own being while you continue to live your life.  You can meditate, you can know the Self, you can be Self-Realized.  And you’ll continue to live the same life, with your same family.  You can do the things you’ve always done.

Except… you’ll be happy.  More than happy, you will know you own Divinity wherever you are in the world.  Whatever you see, you’ll be looking into the mirror of your Divinity all the time.  You get to choose if this is something that you want.  If you do, Gurudevi can help you get it.

By Swami Shrutananda

Your mind specializes in repetitive thoughts focusing on negatives, worries and fears.  Most of your thoughts are not new, innovative, creative, inspiring and uplifting.  In fact, ninety to ninety-five percent of them are reruns!  If that were happening on your TV, you would turn it off.  Why don’t you do that with your mind?  Oh, because you can’t!  Your mind is like the Energizer Bunny.  It just keeps going and going and going. 

The quality of what you are thinking completely imbues your mind.  That becomes who you are.  If you are feeling angry you say, “I am angry.”  Not that you feel angry — but “I am angry.  This is who I am.”  This is called bondage.  Your mind keeps you bound in a limited sense of self.  You share this with others.  “Hello, I am angry.  Who are you?  Oh, you’re sad.  Hello, sad.”

Even creative thoughts keep you bound.  The mind can create uplifting and beautiful things, including fine art, great music, stunning landscapes.  The problem is that you follow your mind wherever it goes.  You never look deeper within to the One who has a mind.  So your experience is “I am my mind,” which is very limited, even when it’s creative.  You have a mind, but you are not your mind.  You are so much more. 

You are vast, all encompassing, the One Reality in all that exists.  You are Absolute Ever-Existent Beingness.  To experience and to know this greater reality, you must transform your mind.  Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras describes:

^{Tadaa hi viveka-nimnam kaivalya-praagbhaaram chittam.}

^{— Yoga Sutra 4.26}

^{Then the yogi’s mind is inclined towards discerning [the difference between mind and Self] and is heading toward liberation.}

When you understand the difference between your mind and your Self, you are headed toward liberation.  In meditation, I had the experience of the vastness of my being.  I saw my mind as an orb, an object.  I wondered, who is aware of my mind?  Contemplating this question, I realized the “who” was my Own Self — the deepest dimension of my being.  I realized that I have my mind and I am much much greater than my mind.

My mind can still ruminate over my likes and dislikes.  It can get caught up in these thoughts.  Yet I am now more aware when I am entangled in my mind.  I understand that my mind is obscuring my state.  Then I can step back into my Self.

I see the difference between my vast inner Beingness and universes created by my mind.  Those universes are puny compared to the inner vastness and depth of my being. 

It is your mind’s repetitive thoughts that keep you bound. To head your mind toward liberation you need to transform your mind.  You will still have a mind, yet you will know the One who has a mind.  

Doing your yoga poses and Ujjayi Pranayama transforms your mind from the outside-inward.  Yet the easiest, most powerful and most effective practices are yoga’s Grace practices.  Working from the inside-outward, they give you the inner experience of Self.  This profound experience transforms your mind.  This is the function of a Shaktipat Guru.  Swami Nirmalananda (Gurudevi) is such a Guru.

Yoga’s Grace practices include receiving Shaktipat and repeating the enlivened mantra.  Plus you spend time with the Guru or you simply keep her in your thoughts.  These practices are powerful conduits of Grace.  They reveal your Own Self to you when you are practicing.

When you repeat mantra for meditation, you invoke Grace, and your meditations are deep and easy.  You explore the inner realms of your being.  These inner experiences of Self transform your mind.  Through this transformation, you come to know the difference between your own Self and your mind.  Now your mind is drawn toward liberation more quickly and more easily. 

You will have the deep and immediate experience of your own Self again and again.  You can come to live in that state of freedom all the time — with your eyes closed and with your eyes open.  This is a beautiful way to live.