By Gurudevi Nirmalananda
Yoga defines love as your recognition of the Divine in another. When you see someone’s Divine Essence shining through, you love them. And when you let your Divine Essence show, they are drawn to you.
Aside from living the constant bliss of Consciousness, this is another reason to delve into your own Divine Essence. Yoga’s purpose — life’s purpose — is to discover your own Self and to live from that inner dimensionality.
I have just given you the secret of how to be popular. It’s simple. Ease into your own Beingness and abide there. People will see your Divine light shining through and be captivated by you.
It’s not your wonderful personality that others love. It’s not your wit or intelligence. It’s not your beauty or even if you are a good cook. Yes, all these things matter, but they are the icing on the cake. The cake is your essence. When you abide in your own Divine Essence, you will be loved.
Of course, the one that gets the most out of it is you. This is because, for you to shine with Divine light, you have to turn on the light switch. It’s inside.
This definition of love is the opposite of what I was taught when growing up. Family, friends, media, teachers and my high school dances all pointed at external attractiveness. If you looked just right, you’d catch somebody’s eye and things would progress. The goal was to find someone who would say the magic words, “I love you.”
What does that mean? Really?
Does it mean that I love you and want to take care of you – or does it mean I love you and I want you to take care of me. Or maybe it’s mutual, so we’ll take care of each other? That means loving is taking care of? It’s like a garden? You plant some seeds, take care of them and then harvest the crops? Love is an investment?
Somehow I wanted love to be something more, something exalted, something all-consuming, something that would fuel my jets, so I could fly into the sky. Oh, wait. That’s lust. Hmmm.. it was very confusing. Confusing and frustrating. At least, it was for me.
When I found yoga’s definition of love, it was a big relief. It is in the Guru Gita:
Yasya sthityaa satyam-ida.m yad-bhaati bhaanu-ruupata.h,
priya.m putraadi yat-priityaa tasmai “srii-gurave nama.h. — Shree Guru Gita 37
I bow to the revered Guru, whose existence is the world’s source,
whose light shines as the sun, and by whose love others are loveable.
What it means is that the Guru is the Self. Only one who knows the Self can serve as Guru.
And the Self that they know, which is what drew me to my Baba, the Self is the One Divine Reality which is the source of this world.
While Self is being you, and me, Self is the light that shines as the sun. And Self is what makes others loveable. When you see Self shining through them, they are loveable.
When they are being cranky and selfish, they are not very loveable. When they are being pushy and mean, or uncaring and distant, they are not very loveable.
One woman told me, “Now that I’m in my 60’s, I realize, I always loved my kids better when they were clean. When they were dirty and stinky, I didn’t love them as much. After I gave them a bath, I loved them more.” Is that what makes you loveable – that you’re clean?
When someone is focused on their fears, their neediness, their greed and their reactions, how loveable are they? They might be quite pitiable, but pity is not the same as love. Is that what you want to receive, someone else’s pity? Or do you want to be loved?
When you are peaceful, even compassionate, you are easier to love. Everyone wants you to be patient, understanding, generous and helpful – Divine virtues all of them! When you are full of Divine virtues, you are loveable. Where do these Divine virtues come from? They blossom forth from within…